Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
