i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
