Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
