i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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