I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
