i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
