His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
