I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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