loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
