Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize