Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
