i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
