You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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