At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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