i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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