you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
