I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
