so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
