I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
