If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
