i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize