I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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