if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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