the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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