Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
