i don't like sucking hair
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
