Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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