NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
