When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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