I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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