We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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