Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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