i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
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Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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