It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
