Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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