Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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