The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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