My ATM looks so different sober.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
