Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
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So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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