Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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