Kiss
Puke
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
