bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
