I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
