I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
