He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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