You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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