Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
