if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
