'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize