there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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