When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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