it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
