I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
