She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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