I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
