How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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