You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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