"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
