No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
