She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
