You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
now i know why i became what i already was.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
