bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
