I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
