We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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