clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
