You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize