Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
