Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize